some extra time on my hands.

I have been meaning to start publishing on this blog for MONTHS now and it just hasn’t happened. Partially due to the fact that life with a toddler whose only speed is “GO” is busy {and awesome} and partially because I am an ace at procrastinating. Well, Little Brother has decided that momma needs some free time {luckily for all of you – go ahead and thank him later}. He’s granted me with the gift of an overnight stay in the hospital and bed rest by trying to make his debut a little too early. Unfortunately, I am not good {read: the worst} at sitting still and resting. Hmm.  Maybe that’s what put me here?  Or maybe it’s the awesome Ortonville dirt roads? Either way I am on bed rest and I am going a little crazy. Not only am I a busy body, but I am also a nurturer.  I like to take care of everyone else, so this whole thing makes me feel like an incredible burden. Oh, hey, preggo hormones.  How’s it going?!

I have been driving myself crazy with thoughts of guilt for the past week because I feel like I am letting people down.  The people I care most about. I feel awful that HBG spends his days working his butt off with his job and then has to take care of all of the house/parenting stuff {yet he never complains}. I feel like a bad momma because I can’t chase DDT – or my two favorite little girls {Rock Star Ra’s kiddos} – around, I’m not supposed to pick him up, and he’s too little to understand why I can’t do all of our usual activities. I feel like a bad co-worker because the classroom is chaos right now with new students and I had to up and leave. I am also struggling because I am a planner and this was not part of my plan {dude – labor and delivery never go as planned…you should have learned that the last time}! Thankfully, I have amazing people surrounding me that reassure me that I am not a burden and that I am a better momma to both of my boys for taking it easy. I know that the thoughts that I have are my own emotions getting the best of me and luckily my peeps have no problem {gently} putting me in my place.

When I let go of those emotions and embrace the fact that this is not permanent, I do realize how truly blessed I am. No, this was not part of the plan, but I am lucky that I am able to be off of work without having to worry about added stresses that many others would face. I am blessed that I have a husband who is truly my partner and who doesn’t think twice about taking on the household duties that I usually try to take care of while reassuring me that everything is going to be fine. I am blessed to have a family – which includes friends and co-workers – who pray for my guys and I, who drop off dinner, who love and take care of DDT, and who put me in my place when I’m trying to do what I shouldn’t be doing. I am blessed that I have a healthy little boy running around my house and a healthy little boy baking in my belly. I am blessed and I am extremely grateful.

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4 Responses to some extra time on my hands.

  1. MIA says:

    Enjoy the rest while you can because you do more than any two people I know most of the time. Doing what you are supposed to do is not always fun as you well know. But the reward in the end for all your love ones will be worth it. Guess I need to find an overnight meal service plan from Alabama.

  2. Stacey says:

    Love this!!! You are such a special, talented person ❤️

  3. Sal says:

    Aw, don’t feel bad, baby bro is making demands already and getting his way! I would be happy to help with anything, please let me and your favorite uncle know. Love you guys!

  4. Andrea says:

    You are an awesome momma! Keep writing and sharing your stories! Love it my talented friend!!!

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